CAUTION: Sharp turns ahead....crazy rant of a cynical MBA

Life rambles on. No, rambles is the wrong word...more like life avalanches on. The last two years were superfast compared to the rest of it. But now, i wonder if it is time to slow down and prepare for the sharp turns ahead. If my performance in the placements out here are anything to go by, it is certainly time to take note of the huge, yellow, "CAUTION: SHARP TURN AHEAD" sign that's been flashing in my head for a while now. In a weird sense, maybe instinctively, i have been preparing for what's to come. Apart from slowing down and taking stock of what things are really important to me, I also reduced some of the baggage I had been lugging around. I certainly feel lighter now. This might seem like gibberish, but heck, I no longer have the patience to explain everything.

It is natural to compare this phase to a similar one previously in my life. It was the time when I had to say goodbye to BIT Mesra, my engineering grad school. The memories of 4 years, the friends, the bakar sessions, the night-outs, the intellectual diarrhea, all flashed before me when I had made the 2 day train journey back home. At that time, I certainly wasn't thinking about the future and what was in store for me. I was just too gutted to be leaving the place that had become home to me, the friends who had become family and the life that had become comfort itself. This time, it is all the other way around. More than thinking about what transpired in the last two years out here, I am just looking forward to making a fresh start to life once this is over. Every new beginning marks the end of a previous new beginning. To think that for the last two years I have been living my dream. Believe me kids, its not necessarily a good thing to have dreams come true. I wonder if other's out here feel the same...or is it just me? But still, I don't want to be a bitter cynic. I guess, ten-fifteen years down the line I will come back to stare emptily at these 'hallowed' corridors and reminisce about the times I spent there. The midnight frisbee, the WAC runs, the ppt runs, the interview runs, life out here did involve a lot of running. And maybe after all it is unfair to compare the two. One gets institutionalized after a period of 4 years. What if I had spent 4 years here...damn, lets not go there! Scary!

At the end of it all, I guess what I am trying to say is that, this is just not the kind of place one misses. I don't think I will look back at this place anytime soon. Some of the people, yes, I will miss them, but there too I look forward to knowing them outside this place...in the real world. It has been called many things, a concentration camp, a cauldron, and what not. I would call it a prep camp. To borrow words from a dear friend, a prep-for-life camp. Because after going through here, nothing in life can ever surprise you. If you can get out of here unharmed, you will face all that life has to offer and conquer it. So yeah, even though I won't miss this place, and I only look forward to the sharp turns ahead; the confidence with which I look forward to negotiate those turns, stems from the bumpy ride this place has afforded me. For that I am thankful. I thank this place for showing me what life is like.

p.s. Planning a fortnight of negotiating 'sharp turns' in a road trip across the western ghats. Really, really looking forward to that. Maybe I should do a travelog...watch this space.

Happy are those...

It's one of those things that keeps cropping up in my mind over and over again. That voice-over dialogue from the move 'The pursuit of Happyness'...he says something like the pursuit of happiness is such a meaningful phrase. How did they know that happiness is something that can only be pursued. They could have said it is the right of a person to be happy, but no, they chose to say that it is the right of a person to pursue happiness. Is happiness not achievable?

At the place that i am, more than an education, i have received hard lessons on life. It has been a growing up process that solidified some notions, gave birth to others, and squashed some of the same ones.

Strength is a function that is independent of external variables: Solidified.  
Trust is temporary and painful: Solidified
Faith is permanent and but blind(and rarely found): Solidified
Happiness can only be pursued: Newly formed
Pain may have no source: Newly formed
Life is a bed of roses with thorns: Solidified
The world is a good place: Squashed
Sadness is temporary and flippant: Unvalidated
Self worth is decided by the highest bid in an auction of people around you: Squashed

...and many more others that I find hard to pen down. All in all though, Life is Good. But sometimes there will be two years in it that let you know it is up to you to keep it that way...

"Happy are those, who realize that the fun lies in the pursuit of happiness and that will go on forever"

A heart full of memories to take from the year...

Its just over a day to go for the most frightening academic year of my life to end. I still have an exam tomorrow, but here i am writing a blog. Will be catching a nap after this...then have a dinner out planned with friends...studying isn't on the cards, today at the least. Was certainly an eventful year, a busy one. I still remember vividly, I was a bit apprehensive for the first few weeks. "Fitting in" has always been a natural priority for me, and it was also the concern topmost on my mind out here. I was worried that I was among the "best minds" in the country n all the other hooplah that the media throws at you about IIMA. Then came T-nite, this was a stretch of 4-5 days where these "best minds" voluntarily make fools out of themselves. Well not all actually, some of them are really really talented...(that's the 'T' in T-nite)...glad to say I did my bit. Would have loved to have done more...but don't we all?
The summer placements were a torrid time for most, fortunately or unfortunately i was lucky with it. The less said about this phase the better. Things became much better after that, and I guess this is where the bonding really set in. Some great friends emerged and as usual the parties, the dinner outs and the movies were back into our lives. Btw...you can get an idea of the party scene out here when I tell you that I was usually the DJ designate :-). But who cares...we have a blast every time we party.
Then came the inter-sectional sports which was fun time all over again. The competitive spirit brought me even close to my friends...and made some new unexpected ones as well :-). Truly enjoyed myself around this time. Whats more our section came pretty close to winning the thing as well, unlike the T-nites ;-).
The last few months have been a blast. This is around the time I think all Wimwians start to appreciate the place...(although we do get a bit sick of all these red bricks around us!). Student body elections, followed by the last term which was by far the busiest. All sorts of crazy assignments and reports to submit. I managed to put in a skit though...again glad I did that.

So all in all a wonderful year. I am sure it was for the rest of the poor souls out here with me. Designing shirts, logos, dressing up as a zoo-zoo, performing a dance, a skit, and playing a few games...oh and also studying my backside off...enjoyed it all. But most of all I loved making some great friends and some MORE than great friends...they have made my time here worthwhile...

@IIMA friends.....We say adieu to this place for now...but we will be back after a 2 months hiatus...wish you all the best of luck for your interns...

The 'F' word...

It's been a tough, tough last 7-8 months being an 'F'. In fact, a friend, a fellow 'F', called it one, big, extended week. Life has come a long way in the past year or so. I was still an awkward, shy yet confident guy this time last year, now I am a .....hey! wait a minute! I still am all that...to top it, the confidence has probably taken a dent or two. First year at IIM A is just about a month away from getting over (if i see it just once, that is), and I am the same? I mean after all, it has been called a lot of things, even a concentration camp. But I wonder if it was all that bad at all. I do look forward to no longer being called the dirty 'F' word though....by the way that's F for Faccha. Now, don't get me wrong guys, this isn't some little word play I am doing. 'Faccha' is almost an abuse out here. Probably the only one where the person actually said it with a tinge of sympathy and dollops of pity, but the receiver still felt abused, violated also :-). But was it really a concentration camp? Did we go to hell and back again? Not really. One of the amazing profs out here had remarked,"If you are not in the top 20 or the bottom 5, you don't have to worry about your grades, do you!?". I couldn't put it in a better way. Not to say that I never let it all get to me. There were times when I felt like getting away from it all, and even did (felt much better after that!). Yeah, it was a great learning experience (cliched but true!!), but most of it came outside of the numerous case-mats, the endless handouts, and bulky textbooks (No, notes don't figure in my scheme of things). The learning came from the in-class gossip with the guys sitting near me, the chai sessions at Rambhai's stall (hole-in-the-wall), and mostly from the great friends I've made out here.

Word of advice for future Facchas...I guess Dead Poet's Society explains how to go about it well enough. We gotta suck the marrow out of life, for when we come to leave this place, we shouldn't realize that we have learned nothing that a pile of books wouldn't teach. All the same, when you do that, don't choke on the bone! Get the assignments done, prepare for class (err...hypocrisy disclaimer out here :-P ) and then, only then do other stuff...like writing blogs.

I yam what i yam...

In the mood to bash up a beaten up topic today...The one on my mind actually is the question of origins, roots, and the whole "where-you-from?" saga. Being born a maharashtrian, then brought up in goa, spending 4 of the most influential years in jharkhand, and back to maharashtra for a couple has not helped me any in getting a single word answer to the question. And so many others must know what its like, that i cant help but ramble about it. Well the diktat of glamour, charm and well...'comfort'...makes me lean towards being a Goan. But having talked the talk and walked the walk of a maharashtrian, i wouldnt mind proclaiming "Mi Marathi" either. Jharkhan i leave out of the now two pronged race...albeit reluctantly. Its there that most of the best memories of my life are from. Great...so now we have 'sun-n-sand' Goan vs 'pride-n-culture' Maratha. If the average reader by now isnt searching for my number to call me up and tell me to get a life, well i agree its a trivial issue. The disclaimer is that this rambling is purely academic and germinates mainly from the desire of being able to answer the question "where-you-from?" in a single word and get on with it. Within the myopic reaches of the country one faces this question so often that i feel the need sometimes to whip out a quick answer. Outside, the word 'India' would proudly suffice. Till then, maybe i should just learn to live with it and focus on more pressing "what-are-you?" issues...such as arrogance, stupidity and a bloated ego.