Its been a 2 week association with the place so far. Heat, humidity, language, auto-wallahs, dusty and dirty roads, have all conspired to my stay being a two week long splitting headache. In that order. The moment I stepped out of the flight, I realised what a cauldron I had stepped into. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I am not used to temperatures hovering around the 40's. I've been to rajasthan where the temperatures were similar. But guess what!? Those people know it is hot out there and they take appropriate measures! Not in Chennai though. The tams (yeah, yeah, racist pig!...whatever) seem to be in a constant denial about how insufferably hot it is! Majority of the cabs are still non-ac. We went house searching and it was a sight! The landlords would be fanning themselves or wiping streams and streams of sweat dripping (in chennai, if you don't sweat...you need to check again, you're not in chennai) down their faces while saying, "Saaar, nyo nyeed faar yaa-see saar, twanty four hawars fulla breeze saar". And then follow it up with the killer line, "Geyser present in bathroom saar, haat waater twanty four hawars saar!". I mean, are you freaking out of your mind!? They don't have ac's but they have geysers man! Drop-down-dead stuff that.
I know, I know...the language problem is hyped enough, everyone knows its a problem here. But, you've gotta be here to believe it! Forget conversation! its impossible to get in a word edgeways, once a Tam realizes you don't speak THE language. I think its a denial thing again. They just can't accept that there is a world out there where people don't speak Tamil. I bet they are like...wow! this guy is just making some random noises, doesn't know how to speak at all I guess, let me hit him with a barrage of words, and hope he latches on to a few. He will just go on and on in a cascade of what almost always seem like expletives. But they're not mind you. They might be the sweetest words in the Tam dictionary, but the way they are spoken, would make Gordon Ramsay's rants seem like a teletubby going "Eh-oh!". Ever heard a Tam speaking on the phone? He will speak so loudly that the phone itself is deemed moot. I bet they would hear each other even without the phone. For example, the guy will be probably talking to his girlfriend right, and after he hangs up, you think, hmm...poor guys seems to have had a fight, all that shouting, girlfriend must've really broken his heart or something. Just then, the guy will turn around, bare super-white teeth and say "hehe...my loower ( yeah! in Tam country its never girlfriend/boyfriend its always 'lover' :-s) and aye are wheespering sweet nothhingsaa".
Cut to the auto-wallahs. Worst I have ever encountered. I was recently bored enough to count the number of cities n towns in India i've had the auto experience. Well over 30 it is. So thats a decently experienced dude saying...the worst auto-wallahs in the country are to be all found in Chennai. It is an economic-logic defying feat out here. The bus transport is probably the best i've seen. That would mean that auto's face lesser demand, so prices should be low. Nope. Economics 101 can go into the dustpan (or one of the open drains that abound chennai). These guys are smarter than your average Keynes and Krugman's. They know, if the bus transport is so awesome, and this dude is coming to me looking for an auto-ride, he must be either desperate to get going or from out-of-town. And take you for a ride he does. As a test, I asked an auto-wallah to take me to a place I knew was walking distance...he asked for 50 bucks. Funny thing is, all auto's have a meter, wonder what it is there for. I guess things will be better once the metro rail projects completes. But that's like in 2015...and that was before amma came to power.
Well though, before all my tam friends make a lunge for my throat would like to say a few good things about chennai. The people are nice, and genuinely helpful. If you get past the language barrier they can go out of their way to help you, except if you are asking for directions that is. It's not their fault really. In chennai, every place is known by ten different names. And ten people will know one each...none of them know the other nine. So, GPS, lifesaver out here. Food is good and cheap. Honestly, I came with the notion of idlis and sambhars and rasams, but its pretty easy to find chinese (indianised), mughlai (albeit from some southern faction of the mughal family), arabic (shawarma mainly, but decent) and north indian too. You can have your pick in terms of cheap and good accommodation too. In that recent (and that only), chennai kicks some mumbai butt. There is one mall worth going to for a hang-out, but other-wise stay home is what i'd advise. All in all, chennai takes time to grow on you. I haven't got there yet myself.
EndNote: To my tamil friends. Thank you for learning english and hindi, I now know what an effort it might have been, appreciate it.
I know, I know...the language problem is hyped enough, everyone knows its a problem here. But, you've gotta be here to believe it! Forget conversation! its impossible to get in a word edgeways, once a Tam realizes you don't speak THE language. I think its a denial thing again. They just can't accept that there is a world out there where people don't speak Tamil. I bet they are like...wow! this guy is just making some random noises, doesn't know how to speak at all I guess, let me hit him with a barrage of words, and hope he latches on to a few. He will just go on and on in a cascade of what almost always seem like expletives. But they're not mind you. They might be the sweetest words in the Tam dictionary, but the way they are spoken, would make Gordon Ramsay's rants seem like a teletubby going "Eh-oh!". Ever heard a Tam speaking on the phone? He will speak so loudly that the phone itself is deemed moot. I bet they would hear each other even without the phone. For example, the guy will be probably talking to his girlfriend right, and after he hangs up, you think, hmm...poor guys seems to have had a fight, all that shouting, girlfriend must've really broken his heart or something. Just then, the guy will turn around, bare super-white teeth and say "hehe...my loower ( yeah! in Tam country its never girlfriend/boyfriend its always 'lover' :-s) and aye are wheespering sweet nothhingsaa".
Cut to the auto-wallahs. Worst I have ever encountered. I was recently bored enough to count the number of cities n towns in India i've had the auto experience. Well over 30 it is. So thats a decently experienced dude saying...the worst auto-wallahs in the country are to be all found in Chennai. It is an economic-logic defying feat out here. The bus transport is probably the best i've seen. That would mean that auto's face lesser demand, so prices should be low. Nope. Economics 101 can go into the dustpan (or one of the open drains that abound chennai). These guys are smarter than your average Keynes and Krugman's. They know, if the bus transport is so awesome, and this dude is coming to me looking for an auto-ride, he must be either desperate to get going or from out-of-town. And take you for a ride he does. As a test, I asked an auto-wallah to take me to a place I knew was walking distance...he asked for 50 bucks. Funny thing is, all auto's have a meter, wonder what it is there for. I guess things will be better once the metro rail projects completes. But that's like in 2015...and that was before amma came to power.
Well though, before all my tam friends make a lunge for my throat would like to say a few good things about chennai. The people are nice, and genuinely helpful. If you get past the language barrier they can go out of their way to help you, except if you are asking for directions that is. It's not their fault really. In chennai, every place is known by ten different names. And ten people will know one each...none of them know the other nine. So, GPS, lifesaver out here. Food is good and cheap. Honestly, I came with the notion of idlis and sambhars and rasams, but its pretty easy to find chinese (indianised), mughlai (albeit from some southern faction of the mughal family), arabic (shawarma mainly, but decent) and north indian too. You can have your pick in terms of cheap and good accommodation too. In that recent (and that only), chennai kicks some mumbai butt. There is one mall worth going to for a hang-out, but other-wise stay home is what i'd advise. All in all, chennai takes time to grow on you. I haven't got there yet myself.
EndNote: To my tamil friends. Thank you for learning english and hindi, I now know what an effort it might have been, appreciate it.